David Barrett Graver (@daveybarrett)

Last September, I started as managing editor at @surfacemag. It was a contract role that allowed me to spend time with the publication and the team, and learn about the magic behind our daily newsletter, Design Dispatch. I’m pleased to announce that my title has changed, as I’ve taken on the role of editor in chief. You’ll find me in the New York office, working alongside a really extraordinary group of people. Soon, I’ll have more updates pertaining to what we’re planning. In the meantime, do sign up for Dispatch (the link is in my bio)! Thank you so much for the announcement, @theprnet. 📷 @chrisc0e

I dreamed of this for a long time. Over the last few days, I was joined by ten friends in @Scotland. We toured some of my favorite spots and lived in @Rothes_Glen, a castle for whisky connoisseurs. I wanted it to be a little Saltburn (without the murder, though we ended up playing two nights of an at-home murder mystery game based on the TV show Traitors). We also danced into each new day after games of snooker and backgammon, sometimes in the Observatory in the castle’s turret. It was an international assemblage featuring some of my favorite folks: three from London, two from Los Angeles, five from New York and one now local to Edinburgh (where we first gathered to pass through places that have long inspired me). Then, with the help of @Whisky_Mitch and @Whisky_a_JoJo of @CopperCairn.Whisky.Adventures, we drove into the Highlands, took to the castle, and lived this fantastical life. We even swam in the swift, frigid River Spey. There are so many people to thank (!!!)—and that will happen shortly—but I’ll start with @jzprobably, who let me wear @thombrowne to my castle cocktail hour and my @glenfiddich and @thebalvenie dinner at @thedowanshotel. I will turn 40 in November, the day after I run the New York Marathon. November isn’t the best time to plot a series of whisky tastings around Scotland… so thanks most of all to my friends for finding the time and bringing their magic. I love you. As I said during my speech (when I was trembling), none of this would be possible without you. More soon!

This morning I went for a run. It was the first time I’ve gone on a run just for me (and not to train) this year. I’ve found that running helps me feel better. Let’s step back. I’ve wanted to run the @nycmarathon since 2003. I was a cross country runner in high school and captain of our team senior year—though that’s when I started smoking. I basically smoked from 2003 to 2017. It disrupted my ability to run. I had a cough for a solid decade. I started doing the Frosty 5K in Prospect Park a few years after I quit, and when it sold out before I could buy my place in December 2023, I decided to run the 2024 United Half instead. After that race, I extended my training, joined a group chat with @sebastiensilvestri, @GeoMendes, @GavinKaysen and @mcleod_ashton, and here we are. A year of training. Runs around the world. Figuring out how to pack my sneakers and running clothes when I don’t ever check a bag. I didn’t have the opportunity to do so yet…so I want to thank BRC. I was honored to run on your behalf. I’d also like to thank everyone who donated to make this dream a possibility, and everyone who showed up to cheer on Sunday (you also made this a possibility), especially @alexandrecorda, @crissyfetcher and @jogooooood! I feel deeply compelled to thank the volunteers, too. You made the day so special! I mean, from the welcome we received at the Staten Island ferry to the warm embrace of the medal stations. I want to send sincere thanks to Lauren Kent. Far more than a decade ago, when I was a starving writer (who somehow smoked a pack of cigarettes a day), she bought me a pair of running shoes. I was there watching Lauren when she ran the Shanghai Half, and I was out with signs at two spots when she ran the 2010 New York City Marathon. A few days later, right before my month-long move to London, she had a stroke. On Sunday, I ran for her. The first photo is by @rafalwielgus! He took it in a moment of surprise and joy! Most of the rest are official event photographs and I find them very entertaining.

A weekend in Deauville. @alexandrecorda first brought me here in 2010. I fell in love with its architectural eccentricities and moody microclimate. This year, we had the pleasure of staying at @lenormandy.barriere. A sense of wonder washes over you upon first glance of the Norman property. It did so fifteen years ago, and continues now after our stay. I love that people refer to Deauville and neighboring Trouville as the Hamptons of France, but I care even more that it’s become a second home to my husband’s family.

A lot of our holidays involve packed itineraries and too many modes of transportation. For our babymoon we decided to select a place with enough gravitational pull to keep us in place. That has been @lesirenuse. Our only plan was to get here. Our day in Capri was unplanned. We arrived to the island without a vision or a reservation. Da Adolfo came highly recommended and seemed like a restful outdoor activity (which included a boat ride and lunch). But this trip has been about Le Sirenuse, which will be with us long after we’ve left.

A month of the utmost beauty. @alexandrecorda and I have used our nomadic time to be in the Catskills, the Hamptons, Maine, the Hudson Valley, and Fire Island. It’s been a summer of beaches and sunshine, rivers, trees, laughter and friends. Thank you, everyone, who has welcomed us in.

When I knew @surfacemag could partner with our sister brand @thesupperclub on a dinner out east, an idea for a venue immediately came to mind: the Montauk home of architect and designer @lrottet. I had visited the hexagonal George Nelson house years earlier for a story and fallen in love. I’ve also come to know Lauren’s work with Rottet Studio and Rottet Collection quite well. She ever so kindly agreed! I knew I wanted to be surrounded by artists and designers. AND that I desired a @ruinart reception and a surprising single malt nightcap from @glenfiddichwhisky. @laurawithlove and @blakelybyrd brought everything together (including, unexpectedly, my favorite harpist)—and when a torrential rainstorm engulfed the Hamptons two hours before the event, they swiftly relocated our alfresco table into one of the hexagonal rooms. It was a magical night. A real candlelit dream. Thank you to everyone involved and than you for to everyone who joined us!

Serendipitously, @thegabbymartinez proposed that I join her in Cannes for Lions to take the place of another colleague and to explain to attendees what @surfacemag is doing right now. I said yes. It was the first of many sublime moments with one of my favorite colleagues—now one of my most dearest friends. It will not surprise you to learn that the morning after our longest day, Gabby texted me to say that I needed to get ready immediately. Everyone had moved to Saint Tropez and we needed to catch a helicopter to carry on the conversations at Gigi. I did, without knowing how I’d get home. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. What a week! Thank you for letting me join some of your dinners (and all the laughs), @arms21. And thank you for sharing such a divine farewell lunch at @hotelducapedenroc, @themacallanraquel!

A glimpse into @dorsia’s American Psycho themed (‘80s business themed) @chezfifinyc takeover. Oh, what a night.

I’ve known that I was gay since the fifth grade, even if I didn’t know the word itself. I came out in college, about 20 years ago (around the time this photo was taken…ignore the date stamped on the image itself…I’m uncertain those were ever correct). I have seen improvements in the way we treat queer people and yet this pride I can’t help but address the fact that it’s not enough. I was unexpectedly punched by a stranger and called f*gg*t in South Street Seaport a few weeks ago. The stranger told me he was going to kill me. My best friend Paul prevented me from getting punched a second time. A few months earlier, a Lyft driver told my family, Alex, and I that he thought gay people were ungodly. He said that while we were in his car, also here in New York City. My best friend, my husband, so many members of my friend group, we’ve all been the victims of homophobia recently. Protect queer people. Protect trans people. Pride isn’t about parties and apparel. It’s about community and safety and strength in numbers.

Earlier this week we attended the anatomy scan (aka the 20-week ultrasound) of our future child. We began this process in early 2021, interviewing other gay dads, then exploring fertility clinics and surrogacy agencies across the U.S. Every step—from selecting an egg donor to making embryos, finding a surrogate (for those unfamiliar with the process, she is different than the egg donor), and then getting pregnant—presented challenges. We are far enough along that we feel comfortable sharing the news. Not for congratulations, but for advice and guidance and patience in the coming months and years. In the most challenging moments of our relationship, we were unified by the idea that we wanted to be (gay) dads—together. We found out that our surrogate was pregnant in February. It’s been both a relief and, to be honest, terrifying. We want to take a moment to thank every gay dad who walked us through the process, talked us through the disappointments, quieted our fears, and (especially those who) shared spreadsheets (seriously). We also need to thank all our women friends who opened up about their IVF experiences. It’s been helpful beyond belief. Here are some photos we haven’t shared from our Iceland wedding on May 26, 2018.

As @AlexandreCorda and I return to New York City from London, we’re both processing the fact that we aren’t going back to our home of the last five years. It’s a strange feeling, though, in contrast, we’re deeply aware of how supportive everyone has been since the fire. One of Alex’s dad’s first messages to us was to remember to remain involved in our work and life through all of this. We have been.